Keeping Interest

When people get too used to you being around then they begin to talk slick. It is the moment where you either wore out your welcome or someone knows they no longer need to make an effort to keep you. This is simple human nature, when dealing with someone you feel is “out of your league” you will put in maximum effort. Yet when you have an individual that percieved ellusiveness fades away quickly. Which brings the obvious question, how do you keep someone interested in you for the long run? In many cases mind games become necessary as relationships are ultimately a game of tug of war played over years.


One thing I would always wonder when I was younger is how could people get married but have so much distain for each other. I have seen it in a bunch of my friends that married at an early age, family, etc. It took my first serious relationship in order for me to understand such. Understand that when I am out and about meeting new people I am a cool person to be around. When I am dating a person I have interesting stories, a good sense of humor, and always have fun. Yet there was a point after years where I simply lost it. At the time I couldn’t explain how my charm just seemed to dry up and no matter how much effort I wanted to put in I simply couldn’t. After the relationship I realized that I was merely unhappy and I suck at trying to cover that up. I guess I got too used to this woman and she really begun to irk me after a while which was a sharp contrast from when I met her. When trying to grapple for her attention I couldn’t turn the charm off but to maintain it over the years proved too much.


So if being around someone too much makes them misuse or lose interest in you, what are your options? One thing I learned is to be sparse, when someone can reach out and get to you everytime then you will be taken for granted. This forces someone to value the time that you have together because it is limited. Keep in mind this is a balancing act because you don’t want to be so absent that you are not dating anymore. Next you must change your appearence and style to keep people guessing. Right when they think they know you then you flip up. This is something I have told rappers they need to do in order to remain relevant in the music industry. When people believe they know what kind of music you are making before you make it then they can skip buying albums and your overall interest decreases. Yet acts like Kanye West have mastered being unpredictable because you have no clue what he is going to do next. That is his appeal, that is what keeps people coming back and you need to apply something simular to your life. Lastly don’t let people know everything there is about you. It is easy to let people talk about themselves and you play off what they say. This way people really don’t know you and they apply their own impressions on you. It allows you to be flexible and always keeps people wondering.


The moral to this story is that you will need to keep things interesting if you hope to maintain long term relationships. This applies to the women you are with to your music fan base. When you are doing the same stuff or when people figure you out then you lost the element of surprise. If you were to first not talk about yourself, not be around all the time, and become unpredictable then you will have a mysterious presence. Being mysterious is key to maintaining interest in people and will go a long way in your life.